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Dear Bastian (how wonderful it is to say your name!),

Oh my, I can't even begin to describe the emotions that center around you. It's so unfortunate that Daddy has been so sick because he hasn't quite been able to share the joy that is you, let alone help very much with you/your sister Luthien during this time. But, oh how I adore you. I have to admit that I feel very differently than I felt when first bringing Luthien into the world. I feel like I am able to enjoy you so much more (and that's saying a lot considering our family's circumstances right now)! Your perfectly shaped little head, the way you smell (despite the fact that you spit up A LOT), the look of complete bliss you get after I nurse you, the way you stick out your little tongue when you get fussy...I could go on and on. But perhaps the best part is how already you know that I am mama; already I am the one that knows how to soothe you best. I didn't have that until much later with your sister. I am so grateful for the bond that we have. I truly believe that it is getting me through this trying time.

Well I am already getting ahead of myself, which is easy to do since I neglected this journal for far too long after your birth, and I'm now picking back up with writing to you after waiting a bit. You are still as sweet as ever. I am fascinated by how the mother-son bond is so different than that of a mother and a daughter, and I can't quite explain why or how. Here is one last shot of you before entering the world, taken at 37 weeks:

Those last few weeks really were difficult physically, but it was all worth it! Just like dad said, you arrived at around 10:30 a.m. on Friday, April 30th 2010 after about 9 1/2 hours of intense labor, mostly done at home. Once these "real" contractions started coming (I had been having false ones for about 2 months), they were pretty harsh, and I knew it was time (about 1:00 a.m. that morning). This was similar to Luthien's birth, however, things progressed much quicker than I expected as I started to dialate more and more (hers was an 18 hour labor). This is why we almost didn't make it to the hospital in time, as dad mentioned. Since his description was pretty accurate I won't give any more details, other than to say shame on him for lying to me when I knew your head was fully crowned as we were driving to the hospital! But what he and Aunt Stefanie didn't know was that rather than "holding you in" as they were telling me to do so we could deliver you at the hospital, I was totally pushing you out during the entire 25-minute drive (is it even possible to hold back from pushing during a natural birth?)! This is why, once we were actually at the hospital it took about 3 more pushes for my water to break, and then only 4-5 more to push you out.

Without further ado, here we are, a few minutes after the birth. I fell immediately in love with you, sat with you on my chest for a couple minutes, and then said, "oh yeah, is it a girl or a boy?!"

And a few more pictures from the hospital...the first is after the nurses finally were able to put your name card up because we finally chose a name for you! I think the nurses were more anxious than us about the name! And we were changing you in this picture, which as you can tell was not your favorite thing, and you still hate it.

What a sweet moment when you met your big sister for the first time:

And here you are the first week at home... I love your olive skin and am missing it now! I also love how you look like a little old man :)

This is a picture of our first true outing, when you were only 1 week old. Your grandad picked us up and we went to eat/visit dad at his work, an Ethiopian restaurant called Blue Nile Cafe.

Another shot with your sister. She started talking a lot more since right around the time you were born so she's always shouting "I wanna hold baby!" She is usually very gentle and sweet with you. Usually is the key word.

In the first 3 weeks of your life we had 3 weddings to go to (okay, two were receptions only). We actually were crazy enough to bring you to all of them! I wish we got more family shots but we still had too much on our minds I think.

And two more shots as you have grown a bit. There's nothing I love more than you just in your cloth diapers, or naked (I hope that makes sense and doesn't freak you out too much when you're older)!

I love you my little Bastian,

Mama

Hello my sweet,

This is your daddy and I am guest blogging today. I am currently in the hospital with another acute Crohn's flare up. No fun. Especially since I had just been able to see you and then was rushed to the hospital. So, your mother's instinct was right, as usual, remember that. You came to us Friday morning at 10:30. I had been up all night two days prior, each day working on my final Philosophy papers to finish out my Bachelors degree. As soon as I lay my head down on my pillow next to your beautiful mother, she turned to me and said, "it's time, the baby is coming." I got back out of bed and started getting our bags together and making arrangements for Luthien and Roofus. I had to be cleaning also. Your mother would not accept a less-than spotless house for you to come home to. I love that about her. She had pretty harsh contractions lasting a little over a minute every 7 minutes starting at 1 a.m. After about an hour it became every 5 minutes and then quickly every 3. Now, as you may already know, we like to pretend that we are basically having a home birth. So, the plan was to stay at home as long as possible, so that we had to be at the hospital as short as possible. This time around this meant your mom labored at home for about 9 hours before we finally left for the hospital. Our midwife, Ramona, is such an amazing person, and we were counting on her to deliver the baby. I wanted to help again like last time.

Jessica asked me to take Roofus next door to Hilary's house, which I did immediately and then I took Luthien to Aunt Stefa's/Uncle Rhett's. Finally, she asked for Aunt Stefa to come over to help. We got our things together and I ran to the store for a few things. Stefa had to go home and finish some quick errands also and when she came back we were set to leave. We probably waited just a hair too long, especially considering that Jess was progressing so quickly and the hospital we chose to deliver at was 25 minutes away. We began the trek at about 10am. The car ride was disastrous on poor mommy. She took off all her clothes as she likes to do during labor and knelt over the back seat while Stefa sat next to her to comfort her. Mommy kept screaming that "the baby is coming now!" I was driving as fast as I could because I was not necessarily up for the challenge of delivering you in our back seat. Yes, I helped catch your older sister but I had to be told where to put my fingers. I was not confident that I could do it again. I kept telling mommy that she just had to wait a few more minutes and that I could not see your head yet and that all would be fine. I partially lied because when she would push during a contraction I could see a little bit of you.

Anyway we made it in time with many prayers and much faith. I dropped off Stef and Jess (naked and all) with the nurses at the ER and parked so quickly. I grabbed our stuff and rushed in after her. When we got to our delivery room (which was quite gorgeous by the way, hard wood floors and big flat LCD Screen TV) Jess was on the edge of the bed wanting to deliver on all fours like we had practiced in our yoga class. This made the nurses there very nervous. They were of course only used to delivering babies in the most unintuitively illogical western way (mommy on her back with legs behind her head). The silly nurses kept screaming and there was some chaos for a few moments when we all were silenced by Ramona's powerful voice saying "Jessica I am here!" What a relief. With no gloves, Ramona jumped in, cleared the little silly nurses like scurrying white mice and blam you were out on mommy's chest within two more pushes. (Mom had already given a few). It was 10:30am and you were so happy resting with your mommy in a state of euphoria. What a beautiful little strawberry-blonde haired boy. You just stayed there for awhile soaking up the last nutrients from the placenta while mom started to deliver it.

Now we had most all of our names picked out long ago and we had decided that our first boy was to be named Ransom Kade Rapier. But you did not feel like a Ransom Kade to your mommy. So we had to listen carefully to any guidance from mothers intuition. I know your mother is very in tune with her children and though I wanted to have my Ransom I knew it could not be so. We had discussed one name a few years back but had sort of dropped it for some reason. This came to your mother's mind and it fit just right. You were to be named Bastian Beau Rapier. We always knew that we wanted your uncles' names as middle names because I love them so much and want you to look up to them as heros in your life. So, now that you had a name we needed to weigh you and get your height. 7.1 Lbs and 20.5 inches. Perfectly healthy, you latched on immediately and your mother and I have fallen so deeply in love with you. I think your big sis has too.